DEF’N: Manifesto: a written statement declaring its issuer's intentions, motives, or views publicly.
I thought I would share my thoughts on midlife because it’s the platform for this blog and the Midlife Missive newsletter. On the one hand, it sucks getting older, but on the other hand, it’s a gift for which I am very grateful.
At the age of 53, I still sometimes experience imposter syndrome. I can't believe I'm a grown-up with a family and a successful career. I woke up one morning, and 25 years have passed. I went from being a university student to a well-adjusted and happy woman, wife, mother, and professional.
That’s not good or bad; it feels like a time warp. At work, there are days when everyone around me is much younger. I can’t believe I’m the older person advising because I vividly remember seeking advice from those older than me when I started working.
I still feel young, playful and hip inside my body and mind. Then, I look at my younger colleagues and realize I have rich experience, insights, and wisdom that only come with age.
Sometimes, that feeling crosses over to my physical being, and I will try to do a dance move or a cartwheel until my body screams STOP, and I realize I’m not as nimble or spry as I used to be.
At the age of 53, I’ve never felt more confident. I have resolve in my decisions (most of the time) and have strong judgment. I’m learning to stop apologizing for everything.
I am learning to love and accept my body and am focused on keeping it healthy and active. I enjoy weightlifting, walking, pilates, and gardening, all of which help me feel alive and well.
I have started feeling the effects of getting older. I regularly feel aches and pains in my neck, back, and knees. When my son was little, he asked why my bum jiggles. I couldn’t think of a witty response, so I just said: “because it’s supposed to.” When he asked,” Then why doesn’t mine?” – I had no response.
I plan to focus my midlife years on my family and marriage. I’ve learned that while work is an essential component of my life, and I am grateful for it, it bears little meaning compared to my job as a wife and mother.
My parents and in-laws are getting older and are a meaningful part of my world. I plan to foster those relationships and provide as much support as possible, as our time together is limited. My children adore their grandparents, and it’s important to me they benefit from their love and wisdom.
I take good care of my skin, but I can see lines forming after many years of smiling, laughing and squinting (without sunglasses). I’ve had grey hair since I was 20, so that’s nothing new.
Signs of aging bother me on the surface when I’m feeling vain and self-conscious. But I am incredibly grateful when I stop to think about my lot in life. The things that matter most to me – relationships, contribution, health, and wellness are all in good stead.
I’ve learned that saying yes isn’t the only option and that not everyone will like me. I’ve learned that family is there through thick and thin, and I am blessed to have the one I chose and the one I didn’t.
I’ve learned that marriage is hard, but it is one of the most rewarding relationships and must be cherished. The same goes for friendships, which must be nurtured and are well worth the effort. I’ve learned that mental health is as important as physical health, and our bodies if cared for, will do their best to go the distance.
So, I choose to celebrate midlife. I choose to enjoy everything great around me and to work through challenges with a commitment to growing as an individual.
I believe in sharing wisdom, insights, life hacks, and inspiration. A forum for development, support, and humour is a worthy cause. So, I will continue sharing, hoping it has some small impact on those around me.
Viva Midlife!!